is it easier for you to see your flaws and faults than to acknowledge your strengths? you are not alone. here are five things you can do to ditch the disparaging thoughts and to celebrate what's good about you! 1. accept compliments
if you find it difficult to identify your strengths, start listening to and accepting positive feedback from others and let it 'sink in.' it's often easier for others to see your strengths than to see them yourself. notice themes in the compliments that others give you. for example, do others comment on the calm way you handle your children's emotional outbursts, or the warmth you exude when talking with others? listen to the positive things that others are telling you and consider the possibility that they are true.
2. confidence is not pride
many women fear that owning their strengths will lead to becoming prideful or conceited. pride is putting self above others, confidence is self equal to others. confidence allows you to genuinely feel good about yourself and present your best self while generously acknowledging the wonderful and unique characteristics of others.
3. recognize your worth
every person has intrinsic value. your worth doesn't go up or down based on your good or bad performance or characteristics. 'a person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. the worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having.' alice mary hilton
4. replace 'or' with 'and'
often recognizing your limitations can lead you to discount your strengths, as if you have to choose one or the other. having limitations doesn't negate your strengths. people aren't strong or weak, good or bad-you are both. recognize that everyone has strengths and limitations. allow yourself to acknowledge your limits and your strengths.
5. challenge your inner critic
the majority of internal self-talk is negative. become more aware of the negative messages you tell yourself and challenge those negative thoughts. ask yourself, 'if i said that to a loved one, how would they feel?' it can also be helpful to identify the origin of your negative messages and discover that the critic isn't really your voice, but an internalized message that you've received from someone else. try replacing, or at least balancing, the criticism with positive thoughts that acknowledge your unique personal strengths, gifts and talents.
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